It's a blazing hot August day. You and your boys are kicking it outside the abandoned gas station on Route 14.
Dirk and Z-Bird are having a spitting competition. They are taking it in turns to spit chewed-up tobacco into a old, rusty bucket. "Hey boss," Dirk asks, "you want in on this action?"
[[Join in.]]
[[Spit in Dirk's face to assert your dominance.]]
You hock a loog into the bucket from six feet away. Your boys look on in stunned silence, before bursting into rapturous applause.
[["Wow boss, you're the man!"]]
You spin on your heel and hock a loog right into Dirk's stupid face. Your boys immediately burst into peals of laughter. For a moment, Dirk looks as though he might cry, but quickly joins in. His smile does not seem genuine.
[["Wow boss, you're the man!"]]
"You're damn right I'm the man," you say, lowering your sunglasses, "...the Motorcycle Man."
This ice-cold display whips your boys into a frenzy. "MOTORCYCLE MAN!", they chant, "MOTORCYCLE MAN!". They're still hooting and hollering five minutes later, when you notice some [[faint shapes]] on the horizon.
Whatever they are, they're heading your way quickly. As they draw ever nearer, you hear the faint rumbling of... [[motorcycle engines]].
Before you know it, they're already on top of you: it's your arch-rivals, the Rowdy Rooster Gang! They roar onto the abandoned gas station's forecourt in V-formation, popping audacious wheelies and spinning donuts around your frightened boys.
Their leader, an emaciated-looking caucasian male astride a 1998-vintage Harley Davidson Roadmaster, rolls up to you. "Long time no see, eh, Motorcycle Man?".
[["Hello... brother."]]
[[Spit in his face to assert your dominance.]]
"How long has it been?", he says. "Ten, fifteen years? I'd assumed that you and your two-bit gang would've packed it in after how badly we embarrassed you at the Ohio State Motorcycle Death Race back in 2027..."
Before you can think up a witty retort, two burly Rowdy Rooster Enforcers restrain you from behind. You struggle, but are unable to stop the rival gang making off with your bespoke Motorcycle Man leather jacket and the keys to your prized 1996 Yamaha YZF1000. Your boys, a notoriously fickle bunch of lads, are so taken by this vulgar display of power that they all pledge allegiance to the Rowdy Rooster Gang on the spot.
As they roar off into the distance, you lay on the forecourt in the August sun and take stock of the situation.
[[Rebuild your gang from the ground up, with the ultimate goal of taking revenge against your brother and wiping the Rowdy Rooster Gang off the face of the Earth.]]
[[Give up.]]
The Rowdy Rooster Leader grimaces, wiping the loog from his face with the sleeve of his Harley Davidson-brand leather jacket. "Motorcycle Man, Motorcycle Man, Motorcycle Man... That's no way to treat family, is it?"
Before you can think up a witty retort, two burly Rowdy Rooster Enforcers restrain you from behind. You struggle, but are unable to stop the rival gang making off with your bespoke Motorcycle Man leather jacket and the keys to your prized 1996 Yamaha YZF1000. Your boys, a notoriously fickle bunch of lads, are so taken by this vulgar display of power that they all pledge allegiance to the Rowdy Rooster Gang on the spot.
As they roar off into the distance, you lay on the forecourt in the August sun and take stock of the situation.
[[Rebuild your gang from the ground up, with the ultimate goal of taking revenge against your brother and wiping the Rowdy Rooster Gang off the face of the Earth.]]
[[Give up.]]
You pick yourself up off the tarmac. "A true Motorcycle Man never gives up," you mutter to yourself, pushing your now-cracked sunglasses back up the bridge of your nose.
It's time for revenge.
**MOTORCYLE MAN will return in MOTORCYCLE MAN II: REVENGE RIDERZ.**
"Ah, fuck it," you say to yourself, "motorcycles are actually a really dangerous mode of transport anyway."
You decide to get the bus home.
**THE END**