<img src="img/castle.jpg" />
You arrive at the castle
[[Go Forth]]
[[Go Home]]
<img src="img/gohome.jpg" />
It's too early to give up!
[[Go Forth]]
[[Whatever, go home]] <img src="img/guards.jpg" />
You are at the castle gates.
You see two guards sleeping.
(if: $leftguard < 1) [ [[Pick left guards pocket]] ]
(if: $rightguard < 1) [ [[Pick right guards pocket]] ]
(if: $key > 0) [ [[ Use the key to open the gate ]] ]
[[Attempt to lockpick the gate]]
[[Go Around The Walls]]<img src="img/key.jpg" />
You pick the left guards pocket. You find a key.
(set: $key to 1)
(set: $leftguard to 1)
[[Go Forth]] <img src="img/sandwich.jpg" />
You find a ham sandwich, a quarter and bubble gum wrap.
(set: $hamsandwich to 1)
(set: $rightguard to 1)
[[Go Forth]] <img src="img/aroundwalls.jpg" />
You are hugging the walls - trying to find a right spot.
[[Go Left]]
[[Go Right]]<img src="img/gatewasopen.jpg" />
The gate was open. There is nothing to lockpick.
[[Enter the Castle]]<img src="img/stolengate.jpg" />
The gate is missing. Somebody must have stolen it!
Perhaps your rival?
Anyway you feel kind of useless holding your key.
[[Enter the Castle]]<img src="img/insidecastle.jpg" />
You are inside the castle! Well done!
Now where to go?
[[Forward]]
(if: $hamsandwich > 0) [ [[Eat The Sandwich]] ]<img src="img/grapplinghookwall.jpg" />
You find the right spot to [[Use Your Grappling Hook Launcher]]
Nevermind that just [[Climb the Wall]]<img src="img/moatwall.jpg" />
.. you are walking very carefully along the walls
you see an entrance..
[[Walk carefully towards the entrance]]
[[Quick Jump]]<img src="img/hooklaunched.jpg" />
You launch your trusty grappling hook..
it goes over the wall!
You hear an *oomf* and a *thud*
maybe you hit something?
[[Climb the rope]]<img src="img/falldownwall.jpg" />
You climb the wall .. and encounter with a guard!
He bites you!
You don't even have time to get surprised..
[[You fall in the Moat]]<img src="img/falleninmoat.jpg" />
You are in the moat.
Bothered but moustorized and fluorishing.
[[You see a log]]<img src="img/fallinmoat.jpg" />
You very carefully fall in the moat.
[[You fall in the Moat]]<img src="img/jumptohole.jpg" />
You made it! The hole leads right into the castle!
[[Enter the Castle]] <img src="img/moatlog.jpg" />
You see a log.
It has teeth.
[[it might not be a log]]<img src="img/moatchase.jpg" />
The giant crocodile is chasing you in the moat!
[[Swim Faster!]]
[[Climb to shore]] <img src="img/fastchase.jpg" />
You are swimming as fast as you can!
The ~~alligator~~ crocodile is hot on your tail!
[[Swim Even Faster!!]]
[[Climb to shore]]<img src="img/finish.jpg" />
You swim as fast as you can!
The crocodile is after you!
But there is no hope for him!
You get ahead of him, the kayaks, the motorboat..
and finally cross the finish line!
[[Cross the finish line? What?]]<img src="img/climbshore.jpg" />
You get out of the moat.
The crocodile is looking sad.
You also look sad.
You feel that this is not your day.
[[Whatever, go home]]
[[Try again]]<img src="img/watchtv.jpg" />
You went home.
You are watching TV.
You never liked this job anyway.
''THE END''
[[Credits]]<img src="img/shakewater.jpg" />
You shake yourself dry.
And head back to the [[Castle]] <img src="img/credits.jpg" />
Thank you for playing
''THIF''
you have been really entertaining!
this game was brought to you by Mutantleg
for Glorious Trainwrecks Sekret Santa 2024
made for GODAHL
// Themes:
-Pickpocketing
-Funny Animals >:o3
-Copyright Infringement//
proudly made in twine2<img src="img/trophy.jpg" />
That's right! You win first place!
And no mistake!
That trophy is made out of solid gold!
You feel conflicted
both confused and happy by the turn of events
''THE END''
[[Credits]] <img src="img/guardonground.jpg" />
You climb up the castle wall.
You see a guard lying flat on the ground.
He has a large bump on his head.
He seems to be sleeping on the job.
What luck!
[[Enter the Castle]]
<img src="img/threedoor.jpg" />
You are inside the castle.
You see three doors in front of you.
(if: $door1 < 1) [ [[Pick Door 1]] ]
(if: $jar < 1) [ [[Pick Door 2]] ]
[[Pick Door 3]]
<img src="img/eatsandwich.jpg" />
You eat the sandwich.
(set: $hamsandwich to 0)
[[Forward]] <img src="img/walldoor.jpg" />
This door led to a stone wall.. what?
Those masons are at it again.
(set: $door1 to 1)
[[Forward]] <img src="img/lockeddoor.jpg" />
This door is locked.
(if: $key > 0) [ [[Try the key]] ]
[[Use lockpick]]<img src="img/stairdoor.jpg" />
You are looking at a set of stairs leading up.
[[Climb the stairs]]<img src="img/doorisajar.jpg" />
The door is ajar.
[[Pick up the jar]]<img src="img/brokenpick.jpg" />
Your lockpick is broken.
[[Forward]] <img src="img/climbstairs.jpg" />
You see a large steel door on your right.
There is a window to your left.
There is a wooden door in front.
(if: $lord < 1) [ [[Enter the steel door]] ]
(if: $crow < 1) [ [[Look out the window]] ]
[[Enter wooden door]]
[[Pick the lock for the wooden door]]
<img src="img/pickjar.jpg" />
You are confused but pick up the jar.
(set: $jar to 1)
[[Forward]] <img src="img/lordofcastle.jpg" />
You come face to face with the Lord of the Castle
having a midnight snack!
He growls at you:
"Who are you? And how did you get in here?"
[[Answer the man]]<img src="img/castlelord.jpg" />
"I'm a thief.. and I'm a thief"
you say sheepishly
"I see." - he growls.
"Well as long as you leave my pantry alone we are fine"
"Everything is insured here anyway"
He continues eating.
(set: $lord to 1)
You slowly close the door
and go back to the hall
the one you were in
after you [[Climb the stairs]] <img src="img/crowwindow.jpg" />
You look out from the window.
Suddenly a crow bops your nose!
(set: $crow to 1)
You fall down on your butt.
Your nose is in pain.
You are still in the hall where you
got after you [[Climb the stairs]] <img src="img/throughdoor.jpg" />
You go through the wooden door like a wrecking ball.
There are wooden planks on the floor.
A guard is looking at you surprised with eyes wide open.
[[Use my karate on the guard]]<img src="img/pickdoor.jpg" />
You slowly pick the door..
it's a success!
You sneak into the room.
There is a guard sleeping on the chair.
He doesn't notice you.
There is another wooden door on the other side of the room.
[[Pick the guards pocket]]
[[Sneak to the wooden door]]<img src="img/panickick.jpg" />
You panic and kick the guard through the wooden door at the end of the room.
He is lying unconciously on the ground.
[[Search the guard]]
[[Enter the next room]]<img src="img/pickguard.jpg" />
You find a cheese sandwich in the guards pocket.
Nothing more.
(set: $cheesesandwich to 1)
[[Sneak to the wooden door]] <img src="img/sneaktodoor.jpg" />
You sneak unnoticed to the wooden door.
Smooooooth.
[[Enter the next room]] <img src="img/armors.jpg" />
You are in a long hallway.
There are a set of knight armors along the wall.
There is a door at the end of the hallway.
[[Just walk to the door at the end of the hallway]]
[[Gently touch one of the knight armors]]<img src="img/flatsandwich.jpg" />
You find a very flat cheese sandwich in the guards pocket.
(set: $flatcheesesandwich to 1)
[[Enter the next room]] <img src="img/walktodoor.jpg" />
You are at the door at the end of the hallway.
That was a thing.
[[Go through the door]] <img src="img/toucharmor.jpg" />
Before you can gently touch the armor.. a fly lands on it!
The armor slowly starts to tilt..
and then starts falling ..
toward the armor next to it
the armors are falling like dominoes..
really loudly I might add
your life is flashing before your eyes
from two rooms behind you hear someone shout
"NOT AGAIN"
(set: $armorfall to 1)
[[RUN TOWARDS THE DOOR]]
[[JUMP OUT THE WINDOW]]<img src="img/runarmor.jpg" />
You run as fast as you can
doding the fallen and falling armor pieces
Finally you arrive at the door.
[[Go through the door]]<img src="img/jumpwindow.jpg" />
You jump out of the window!
A crow is looking at you and cannot believe it's eyes!
You land in the haystack.
The Yugoslavian judge gives you a 9.5 for landing
You feel silly looking out of the hay.
[[Climb out of the haystack]]<img src="img/atadoor.jpg" />
You make the wise decision and open the door first.
Really slowly.
It's creaking.
It sounds like claws on a blackboard.
All the hair on your back is rising.
You are gritting your teeth.
(if: $armorfall > 0 ) [ From two rooms back you hear a faint cry. ]
[[Go onward]]<img src="img/doorwithhole.jpg" />
You once again find yourself at a door.
[[Glance in the keyhole]]<img src="img/haystack.jpg" />
You shake off the hay.
You see a ladder nearby.
[[Climb on the ladder]]<img src="img/ladderclimbup.jpg" />
You set the ladder at the window.
Climb back up.
There are armor pieces at the floor.
You slowly make your way to the door
at the end of the hallway.
[[Go onward]]<img src="img/lookthroughhole.jpg" />
You take a quick look - the door
seem to lead to an empty
[[Hall]]<img src="img/hallroom.jpg" />
You are standing in a hall.
There is a large brown door leading to a library.
There is a small doorway leading downstair to the basement.
There is a small door brown door with the word 'Ladies' on it.
Go to
[[Library]]
[[Basement]]
(if: $toilet < 1) [ [[Small brown door with the word Ladies on it]] ]<img src="img/library.jpg" />
You are in the library.
Funnily enough it's full of books.
So many books!
You didn't expect this!
[[Move toward Horror section]]
[[Move toward Fantasy section]]
[[Move toward Romance novels]]
Let's go back to the [[Hall]] <img src="img/metaldoor.jpg" />
You are in the basement.
There is some large metal door there.
[[Check metal door]]
Go back to the [[Hall]]
(if: $castlemap > 0) [ [[ Wander around with your map ]] ]<img src="img/ladies.jpg" />
It's nothing but toilets and sinks.
What a letdown!
Let's just go back to the [[Hall]]
(set: $toilet to 1)<img src="img/nohorror.jpg" />
(if: $ghosted > 0) [ The horror section disappeared! What gives? ]
(if: $ghosted < 1) [ You are afraid to go that way. ]
You are still in the [[Library]]
(if: $ghosted > 0) [ [[Check the History section ]] ]<img src="img/fantasy.jpg" />
This place is full of fantasy novels.
[[Move toward Mystery novels]]
[[Move toward Romance novels]]
[[Check a Fantasy Book]]<img src="img/romance.jpg" />
Nothing but pink thingy paperbacks as far as the eye can see!
You hear a faint sound in the corner.
(if: $mice > 0) [ The biker mice are hanging around at the corner. ]
[[Move toward Mystery novels]]
[[Move toward Fantasy section]]
(if: $mice < 1) [ [[Check the corner]] ]
Back to [[Library]] <img src="img/mystery.jpg" />
You are a the Mystery novel section!
Frankly it doesn't seem to be that mysterious.
Back to [[Library]]
[[Move toward Horror section]]
[[Move toward Fantasy section]]
[[Move toward Romance novels]]
[[Pick up a Mystery Book]]<img src="img/biketrack.jpg" />
Your eyes seem to be deceiving you.
You see a bunch of little mice on bikes hanging
around near a small race track.
[[ Check out the Mice]]
This is getting silly - let's go back to the [[Library]] <img src="img/bikermice.jpg" />
The mice introduce themselves.
Apparently they are biker mice from Mars.
They are on earth because Mars doesn't have roads yet.
They explain to you that they used to hang out
in the basement where there is a big hoard of treasure!
.. hidden behind a large metal door!
with a number keypad.. and the code is: 3210
(set: $mice to 1)
(set: $code to 1)
You thank them and head back to the [[Library]] <img src="img/keypad.jpg" />
The metal door has a keypad.
That's nice let's head back to the [[Hall]]
(if: $code > 0) [ [[Try the code: 3501]] ]<img src="img/wrongcode.jpg" />
No that's the wrong one..
(if: $mice > 0) [ [[ Of course the mice said it's 3201 ]] ]
Nevermind back to the [[Hall]] <img src="img/openmetaldoor.jpg" />
The metal door opens!
[[Look inside]]<img src="img/wallofcheese.jpg" />
It's filled from the bottom to the top with cheese!
Wensleydale, cheddar, stilton, wimbledon, roquefort, roxford,
mozzarella, queso blanco, feta, danish blue, camembert
brie and who knows how many other types of cheese!
As far as the eye can see!
[[Explore further]]
That is enough cheese let's go back to the [[Hall]]<img src="img/toomuchcheese.jpg" />
It's nothing but cheese in here!
Your eyes start watering from the smell!
[[Gather all the cheese]]
Go back to the [[Hall]] <img src="img/haul.jpg" />
You decide that you are satisfied with this kind of treasure
You pack your bag full of cheese - you take it all!
(it's a big bag)
[[Escape the castle]]<img src="img/cheeseshop.jpg" />
You escaped the castle with your cheese
and opened a cheese shop!
Apparently you got cheese frenzy and got mad.
Still, it's a living.
''THE END''
[[Credits]] <img src="img/checkbooks.jpg" />
The book has a big question mark in the middle.
Why would anyone buy these books?
That is the only mystery here.
[[Move back to the Mystery novels section]]<img src="img/nohorror.jpg" />
Oh great you got lost.
Find your way back to the [[Library]] <img src="img/checkbooks.jpg" />
You glance over the titles:
Fantasy Football
Final Fantasy
Fantastic Voyage of Sinbad
Fanta the secret recipe
You don't feel like reading these books.
[[Go back to the Fantasy Book Section]]
(if: $cheesesandwich > 0) [ [[ You are feeling hungry ]] ]<img src="img/horror.jpg" />
Oh no!
You accidently wandered into the horror section!
[[Try to find your way out]]<img src="img/faintlaugh.jpg" />
You hear faint laughing behind you..
[[SWEET MOTHER OF ALMIGHTY RUN!!]]
[[Turn around?]]<img src="img/runlibrary.jpg" />
You head on collide with the Thriller section.
Books are flying everywhere.
[[Keep running]]<img src="img/littleghost.jpg" />
You gather all your strength and turn around.
It's a little ghost.
It says: Boo.
[[You faint]]<img src="img/faint.jpg" />
You are not sure how much time have passed.
You wake up in the [[Library]]
(set: $ghosted to 1)<img src="img/runtea.jpg" />
You collide with the tea lady.
Tea and crumpets fly everywhere.
The tea lady gets thrilled.
And by that I mean she gets buried under the Thriller novels.
[[Run run and run some more]]<img src="img/runbrick.jpg" />
You run through the wall.
Bricks are flying everywhere.
[[Just run]]<img src="img/runaway.jpg" />
You run towards the sunset.
Later they write a book about your run.
Some say you are still running even to this day..
''THE END''
[[Credits]] <img src="img/checkbooks.jpg" />
You are in the History section.
Funny, you don't remember seeing it before.
[[Move toward Fantasy section]]
[[Move toward Romance novels]]
[[Pick a History book]]<img src="img/rotateshelf.jpg" />
You take a random book out of the wall.
Suddenly the shelf rotates and you find yourself on the other side of it!
[[Look around]]<img src="img/darkness.jpg" />
You try to take a better look..
but as you walk around a trap door opens below your feet!
[[You slide down a chute]]<img src="img/treasures.jpg" />
You cannot believe your eyes! You are in the treasure room!
[[Take everything]]<img src="img/haul.jpg" />
You fill a sack with treasure and escape the castle.
[[Later you visit your fence]]<img src="img/sillykitten.jpg" />
Turns out all the treasure is plastic!
You robbed the medieval fare!
You feel like such a silly cat!
''THE END''
[[Credits]] <img src="img/libsand.jpg" />
You eat a cheese sandwich you found in your pocket
(set: $cheesesandwich to 0)
[[On the ground you notice a book]]<img src="img/bookonfloor.jpg" />
It's a book with a paper sitcking out of it..
it looks like the map of the castle!
(set: $castlemap to 1)
In your excitement you start reading the map and wander back to the [[Hall]] <img src="img/wandermap.jpg" />
You wander around. The ceiling is made out of wood.
According to the map the treasure room is supposed
to be somewhere above you..
(if: $safe < 1) [ [[A little to the left]] ]
(if: $safe > 0) [ You have a headache. ]
[[A little to the right]]
(if: $pot < 1) [ [[A bit more to the left with the throne drawing]] ]
(if: $pot > 0) [ You hear a struggle from the left corner. You try to not pay attention. ]<img src="img/sawceiling.jpg" />
You start sawing the ceiling.. and.. and..
[[C'mon now what is it?]]<img src="img/rightspot.jpg" />
This seems to be stop!
[[Start sawing the ceiling]]<img src="img/sawceiling.jpg" />
You start sawing the ceiling above.
[[Keep sawing]]<img src="img/chamberpot.jpg" />
For your surprise a guard falls down!
He is sitting on a chamber pot!
He is just as surprised as you are!
[[Oy!]]<img src="img/angerpot.jpg" />
"What is with you cats and watching people poop?"
- he asks you.
"Can't a men have a moment of privacy?"
Embarassed you head back to the basement area
where you cannot see him.
(set: $pot to 1)
Once again you [[ Wander around with your map ]] <img src="img/ceilinghole.jpg" />
You see there is an empty room above.
[[Climb up]]<img src="img/climbup.jpg" />
You are in an empty room. There is a door.
[[Go to the door]]<img src="img/safefall.jpg" />
A safe falls down!
Jackpot!
[[Expect]]<img src="img/fallensafe.jpg" />
It has fallen right on your head!
And you don't know the combination.
You forgot to bring your stethoscope.
(set: $safe to 1)
Nevermind.. just [[ Wander around with your map ]] some more.
[[You lost your patience - time to bring out the DYNAMITE]]<img src="img/safetnt.jpg" />
Succesfully you blow the safe..
[[Yes!]]<img src="img/safeblown.jpg" />
Yes you succesfully blown the safe... right into the stratosphere!
[[No!]]<img src="img/safeinspace.jpg" />
You watch the safe leave orbit.
It's not coming back.
You feel a strange satisfaction though..
[[and realise you found your calling]]<img src="img/rocket.jpg" />
You are now a famous rocket scientist!
Your company hides valuables in the only
place the burglars and taxmen cannot find it..
SPACE!!!
''THE END''
[[Credits]] <img src="img/susroom.jpg" />
This room looks suspicious..
[[you smell a rat]]
<img src="img/darkness.jpg" />
The rat apologises for the smell and runs away in shame.
You enter the room.. it's dark.. very dark..
[[Find a lightswitch]]<img src="img/sillykitten.jpg" />
SURPRISE!!!
[[WHAT?]]<img src="img/bday.jpg" />
It's a birthday party!
For you!
You forgot all about that it's today!
All your friends are here!
What an unexpected twist of events!
''THE END''
[[Credits]]