Ho everyone, SpindleyQ has ompdated von server.

Here's a game file to show you how it's done.

Game design document for a Sonic game I'd like to make.

It's a GOOGLE DOC that you can read here. It's a work in progress, I will add to it every so often (drawings, writing, maybe some audio stuff). This is not a joke like 'Sonic Dreams Collection'. "People that like Sonic are weird." Fuck you well to do popular award winning 'cool' LA assholes.

It sucks thinking about these snobby "indy elites" making fun of the thing that makes some people happy.

Why is this a train wreck or why is this on this website?
I figure if I try to make something super sincere like this it will accidentally be transcendentally bad.
Like, it's kind of uncool to be a fan of something? I guess it depends on how you look at it?
I guess some questions I will be asking myself while adding to this is, like, how reverent am I to Sonic as a "franchise".
I like Sonic, I liked him as a kid quite a bit.

Someone on the IRC for this website years ago said Sega would never hire me to direct a Sonic game. I guess, in this person's eyes, this game design document and the theoretical game is a trainwreck in terms of futility, like this is never going to happen.

I once was working at a smoothie place and my first or second day there, this guy was telling me about his Simpsons spec-script and how much he was working on it. Him telling me about this made me feel tremendously sad at the time being stuck working for very little money serving very rich people overpriced smoothies. Like, I would hope that this guy made it, I have a more positive look at these things these days. At least he wrote it, he did a bunch of comedy stuff in the city, he was trying and that's what you have to do, you can't just sit around and mope about, he was taking some sort of action even if this action to others felt futile.

So, whatever, I'm going to do this anyways.
I'll run head first into a wall hundreds of times to see if I can run through it.

A simple text game about exploration and secret-hunting. Can you find all five treasures scattered throughout the land?

Today Is Court Day Good Luck Baby

Welcome one, welcome all, welcome bone, welcome some. TO! The ninth and tenth anniversaries of Glorious Trainwrecks!! With my first TGF1 game in AGES!

Pre-History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10162
History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10602
Post-History: (Selected abridgement- purview README.txt in the download to see it all!)

In this game, you will re-create my own steps leading to this point in time. What is that point of time? I can't tell you. The game will. It's already there. Play it now!!

FAQ (Forthcoming Answers in Qase of people wanting to know what's up with these things)

1) How do I play a game? It doesn't work correctly because [x]!
A: Windows users: if you are running an OS later than Windows XP or so, you might have problems running the game correctly. However, Window's "compatibility" settings should be able to help you. Directions:
    I) Right click on "9thAnd10th.exe" (NOT the .gam file with an identical name- I cannot do anything to make this more distinct, sorry!).
    II) Select "Properties" on the drop down menu.
    III) Click on the "Compatibility" tab.
    IIII) Under the section "Compatibility mode", click on the box to add a checkmark.
    IIIII) Choose the OS to run compatibility mode as. Anything as far back as Windows 95 should work.
    IIIIII) Press on "Apply" or "OK", then run the game. If problems persist, repeat the previous step with a different OS selected until it works. If it still doesn't work, I have no idea what to suggest. Sorry.

Mac/Linux users: the only option is to use WINE https://www.winehq.org/.

3) I "interacted" with everything but there's still like 100 days left! What gives? What am I supposed to do except run into a wall?
A: Solution: every object outside, and every small object, only has one message to give. About half of the big objects in the house have multiple messages, sometimes even one dozen! The rest of the big objects only have one message. But they should make it obvious... If not, no harm in trying again!

11) Why is this game two days late?
A: This is covered in the game. If you need a clue: keep using the computer. And stop jumping in line!

6) I found a typo! Are you going to fix it?
A: No, implementing all the text was already very taxing (and why there's only oh so many objects with multiple lines), and I am not going to review any of it again.

10) Um, I STILL can't read anything? The text is [too small/too big/contrasting badly/off-center/anything]?
A: This is actually something I am worried about and do not have a pre-emptive solution for. However, if any of this is happening, please take a screenshot and show me- I will do my best to fix it, for you and anybody else having the same problem! Unfortunately, with this game, because of the large amount of text, I cannot do my usual of "turn all strings into active objects so that they will be identical independent of anybody's computer". So, they may easily be unreadable for other people due to dis-similar assumptions of font displays. Here's hoping it won't come to this!

12) Why is most of this post this boring FAQ and not your usual high enthusiasm for ridiculous stories with a tenuous, or rather, non-existent connection to the real events of the game, but positioned as the important facts necessary for understanding the world about to be explored, but done in such an overbearing way that without such knowledge the play of the game feels to lack something, something special, that must exist in the player for an effect to be felt?
A:

    Welcome to the year 2016. One smart dingo has appraised the facts well- they see ahead, into the future, a dire need, yes- they can be the one to fulfill it! So goes the ancient history, the known facts. But what truly is known? What we can say is that they surveyed their planes, and took what was plain to see, enduring a bit of pain.

    They left a legacy behind, a declaration, stating: "enjoy these 365 days I have granted you. But be careful, for extending the limits of what you shall be granted means the pool of time must be replenished daily for others to continue to lap from it." Historians are divided on the defintion of this divination.

    What has become of them? This is what you are about to find out- in their own paws! "Walk a mile as me, and you have walked one mile more". A common dingo saying, to those who know how to listen. Textbooks always include that one. But also: "Make sure to well use wily time wisely, for it is all you shall receive.".

    It is this journey that will now be related to you, through the power of the conventions of the video game medium. Thanks to the hard work of the Minions Never Over collective, this display comes to you at a free cost, besides those precious minutes of your life that you can give in return. Thus, timely tidings t'will twist towards truth!

    Yearn towards complete knowledge: but like all faithful teachers, you will find it impossible to, within but just one lifetime, to accomplish every thing set before you. "But, perhaps, this is the final lesson?" Yes. It is. Such are solutions proffered shrewdly by savvy animals surrounding our soulful history.

A binary situation

Actually made several days later for the Big Trashy Twine Jam, but it can live here too.

If you extracted .jar to desktop run it by entering java -Xmx1024m -jar C:\Users\youraccountname\Desktop\TheBeginning.jar in cmd.

The game is bad but I was bored. I suck at java. I suck even more at every other language. I'm not really a programmer. I also probably suck at your definition of humor. Still, this site looks interesting, I might stick around. Cheers!