My trainwreck will probably be only vaguely related to Christmas.

Depending on how much free time I have this week, my game will feature artwork ripped from a lesser-known MECC edutainment title. And a moderately inappropriate literary mashup! I just wish that thread I found over at xentax had been more successful at extracting the compressed file formats of the the game's art assets. As it stands, I have to rip the sprites the old-fashioned way with screencaps and a paint program. Luckily, the game does feature a frame-by-frame option (which should be a pretty strong hint as to which MECC title I'm messing around with!)

"...Like a screensaver, only you can control it..."

"i like that the most beautiful sparkles are those left by your deaths - your mistakes rewarded with a simple beauty piercing the darkness."

"As I hammered my keyboard, desperately searching for the laser button, I suddenly realised that there was no such button. The designer had robbed me of my only means of defense. I felt so small and vulnerable all of a sudden. And I began thinking: what does it say of me as a person, as a game reviewer, that I expected a means of offense at all? My mind was metaphorically exploding with strange feelings and questions about games that I've never felt before. I was all set to give it three stars, but then my ship non-metaphorically exploded for real because I couldn't shoot the dang UFOs. Lame."

Glitterius is here! Those pesky Von Neumann Saucers have started multiplying again - and this time they've decided you're their next target! Dodge their shots - or don't! I don't care.

Play this game if you want to hate Christmas.

Find the nine presents and escape from the evil maze. Then do it all over again, there is no escape.

Questions and answers:
Q:Will I have to map this game?
A:You will have to draw a map as you go.

Q:Why does everything look like it is lying on its side?
A:Because.

Save Chistmas! Give the kids their presents! Don't eat the police!

Warning: this game is kind of hard and also kind of like Pizzaz Delivery but not really.

this is almost a strong game

Penguins can't land at airports!!! That's ridiculous!!! Those are flippers, you can't even fly!!! Get out of my airport!!!

Essential but might not be obvious: the diner is clickable, and the game isn't tuned so that the number of available planes can possibly matter (would have been nice, but oh well).

Project your consciousness onto the Astral plane to do battle with food beneath

A totally christmas game for 2-4 players

UPDATED: now with fewer bugs

http://games4noah.sitesled.com/RUN.exe

In the year 2007, Vidal Sassoon's new line of hairsprays polluted the Earth with a toxin - lethal to mankind. The human species was forced to evacuate the world in search of a new planet to populate.

Two years later...

One August evening, at approximately 11:37PM, Cliff Hanger was travelling at the speed of light when he missed his turn at the Big Dipper. Lucky for Cliff, he hit the eject button just in time as he watched his space shuttle pummel the Earth below.

As Cliff parachuted nearer the earth, his breathing became more and more labored. He knew that in order to survive, he would only have a few minutes to gather and reassemble what remained of his spacecraft and launch back into space.

You have 3 minutes to get off this planet... I'd suggest you RUN!

controls:
left / right cursor - run/move/swim
ctrl - jump / swim

...

There is a special second ending for the zealous collector.

It has nothing to do with Christmas... and I apologize for the filesize (13.36MB). The game itself is under a MB, but the music weighs it down quite a lot.