A game for my santee Smedis2.

NOTE: I am sorry for uploading this too early. it was intended to be uploaded only in december 25th (i guess), but i'm leaving the town from tomorrow until february (with no internet). so i am forced to upload this today. i'm sorry again for "messing up" the joy of the party.

ALSO: Maybe i won't see my secret santa's game today or tomorrow, but don't worry: i promise to leave a comment whenever i can.

ABOUT THE GAME: This game features some of the stuff my santee requested. (Smedis2)

CONTAINS:
Shooter
Good Art (i guess)
Platformer
Pizza
Mozzarella Sticks
Accurate Retro Graphics (i tried my best)
Masocore Games (this is a HELL of a masocore game.)

Contains 5 infuriating levels. PREPARE TO THROB IN PAIN

DO NOT CONTAIN CANYON.MID KARAOKE (I'M SO SORRY.)

EDIT: sometimes you may experience a no-portal activating bug. in that case, open the .gam file and just re-begin the game from where you left off

QUEST FOR SOME DAMN GOOD UGG BOOTS

You are [PLAYER NAME HERE], and you just found out about some ugg boots on sale!!! HOLY SHIT UGG BOOTS I WANT SOME. It is a wild, slippery, leathery world out there, so be careful! You never know what will happen on your way to buying some nice UGG BOOTS.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT GUU STTOB:
"okay so the point is you expect toh ave a good time playing a game and are disappointed"
"that game was awful I am going to sleep for a while"
"I didn't like it very much, it wasn't funny"
"my kids played this and now they won't stop crying"

FAQ:
Q: How do I play?
A: After the game gets your name right, you just need to choose what area to move to at the end of every day.

Q: Help! I hate typing out whole words?
A: You only need to enter the first letter at any time! As in, 'N' for 'North'

Q: I LOVE YOUR GAME but I want to stop playing, how do I do that?
A: Press ESCAPE at any time, past the first screen

Q: I keep running out of food because I can't get enough meat after hunting down an Ugg!
A: That shouldn't be possible! Maybe you just suck at this game.

Q: What sickos made this? I'm reporting you!
A: Me (MNO) with plenty of help from Decky Coss

In the land of the legless, the one booted man is king, though in this game you're a woman, so I don't know what that mean. On a prison, on an asteroid. In space! The overboots have kept an army of slaves mining the sun for plasma gold. But! A rebellion is forming on the planet. Dodge the boots to survive! Watch out for the overboots! Oh, and in this game, you can't die, they're just boots, flying around in the air. It's not real!

I feel this game truly evokes the beauty of spambot text perfectly.
Controlled with the mouse.