It's Christmas Eve, and that means board game night. One of your friends has brought over a weird game he got while he was studying abroad. None of you have heard of it, but it seems promising?

The back of the box reads:

*****
"BEHOLD, adventurers! A quest like none other! Explore an Australian Outback ruled by mysterious characters and enchanted by magicks arcane such as GATORMANCY, SHIVINATION, and MATH. Lead your heroes through dozens of unique challenges using the unique CARDSTAT system, guaranteeing that no two games will be alike (unlimited* replay value)! Each space offers a new adventure. Will you fist-fight a KANGAROO? Eat a bunch of JAM? Hack the OUTBACK DARKNET? And, at the end of the day, will you adventure competently enough to reach the coveted G'Day Grotto, complete the trials, and retrieve the G'Day Goblet? The choice is YOURS, hero!

This revised edition includes the acclaimed "GOLD COAST OF DEATH" expansion, featuring an in-depth Artifact system.
An RPG from your friends at Reverse Flush Games."

* Might last you 4, maybe 5 games.
*****

Merry Klikmas, mno/Nikki! I hope this game brings you some holiday joy and I wish you all the best in the coming year! :D

Welcome one, welcome all, welcome bone, welcome some. TO! The ninth and tenth anniversaries of Glorious Trainwrecks!! With my first TGF1 game in AGES!

Pre-History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10162
History: https://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/10602
Post-History: (Selected abridgement- purview README.txt in the download to see it all!)

In this game, you will re-create my own steps leading to this point in time. What is that point of time? I can't tell you. The game will. It's already there. Play it now!!

FAQ (Forthcoming Answers in Qase of people wanting to know what's up with these things)

1) How do I play a game? It doesn't work correctly because [x]!
A: Windows users: if you are running an OS later than Windows XP or so, you might have problems running the game correctly. However, Window's "compatibility" settings should be able to help you. Directions:
    I) Right click on "9thAnd10th.exe" (NOT the .gam file with an identical name- I cannot do anything to make this more distinct, sorry!).
    II) Select "Properties" on the drop down menu.
    III) Click on the "Compatibility" tab.
    IIII) Under the section "Compatibility mode", click on the box to add a checkmark.
    IIIII) Choose the OS to run compatibility mode as. Anything as far back as Windows 95 should work.
    IIIIII) Press on "Apply" or "OK", then run the game. If problems persist, repeat the previous step with a different OS selected until it works. If it still doesn't work, I have no idea what to suggest. Sorry.

Mac/Linux users: the only option is to use WINE https://www.winehq.org/.

3) I "interacted" with everything but there's still like 100 days left! What gives? What am I supposed to do except run into a wall?
A: Solution: every object outside, and every small object, only has one message to give. About half of the big objects in the house have multiple messages, sometimes even one dozen! The rest of the big objects only have one message. But they should make it obvious... If not, no harm in trying again!

11) Why is this game two days late?
A: This is covered in the game. If you need a clue: keep using the computer. And stop jumping in line!

6) I found a typo! Are you going to fix it?
A: No, implementing all the text was already very taxing (and why there's only oh so many objects with multiple lines), and I am not going to review any of it again.

10) Um, I STILL can't read anything? The text is [too small/too big/contrasting badly/off-center/anything]?
A: This is actually something I am worried about and do not have a pre-emptive solution for. However, if any of this is happening, please take a screenshot and show me- I will do my best to fix it, for you and anybody else having the same problem! Unfortunately, with this game, because of the large amount of text, I cannot do my usual of "turn all strings into active objects so that they will be identical independent of anybody's computer". So, they may easily be unreadable for other people due to dis-similar assumptions of font displays. Here's hoping it won't come to this!

12) Why is most of this post this boring FAQ and not your usual high enthusiasm for ridiculous stories with a tenuous, or rather, non-existent connection to the real events of the game, but positioned as the important facts necessary for understanding the world about to be explored, but done in such an overbearing way that without such knowledge the play of the game feels to lack something, something special, that must exist in the player for an effect to be felt?
A:

    Welcome to the year 2016. One smart dingo has appraised the facts well- they see ahead, into the future, a dire need, yes- they can be the one to fulfill it! So goes the ancient history, the known facts. But what truly is known? What we can say is that they surveyed their planes, and took what was plain to see, enduring a bit of pain.

    They left a legacy behind, a declaration, stating: "enjoy these 365 days I have granted you. But be careful, for extending the limits of what you shall be granted means the pool of time must be replenished daily for others to continue to lap from it." Historians are divided on the defintion of this divination.

    What has become of them? This is what you are about to find out- in their own paws! "Walk a mile as me, and you have walked one mile more". A common dingo saying, to those who know how to listen. Textbooks always include that one. But also: "Make sure to well use wily time wisely, for it is all you shall receive.".

    It is this journey that will now be related to you, through the power of the conventions of the video game medium. Thanks to the hard work of the Minions Never Over collective, this display comes to you at a free cost, besides those precious minutes of your life that you can give in return. Thus, timely tidings t'will twist towards truth!

    Yearn towards complete knowledge: but like all faithful teachers, you will find it impossible to, within but just one lifetime, to accomplish every thing set before you. "But, perhaps, this is the final lesson?" Yes. It is. Such are solutions proffered shrewdly by savvy animals surrounding our soulful history.

/**********OOC PART**********\
There's some important things I couldn't figure out how to express in the game, namely:
- You NEED to press P after getting to the playfield to get an explanation of the HUD / list of most controls.
- Pressing the Escape key will quit the game at almost any time.
- Press Space to toggle arrows pointing to planes- I ran out of room in the HUD explanation for this, oops!
- F8 will show/hide the menu, which most importantly has a "Password" option under "File". If you happen to learn any special codes during the game, this is where you will enter it ;)
- F11 will toggle full-screen. The game will run in full-screen by default but it will remember your setting if you change it, though it will be awkward when you start it up. The game is designed to run in full-screen, but if it causes problems you might like windowed mode! It still has to make some assumptions about how to do this, so sorry if it messes up for ya.
The gameplay explanation text file might be long, but probably the most important things are that:
- Performing animated maneuvers makes you invincible, and unable to fire, during them.
- Your ammo recharges faster when you move faster.
- Only you get to repair damage.
- Keep in mind how much the stats of each plane varies dramatically. Some of them are easier to pilot than others, some of them require you to play in specific ways.
Ok that's it sorry for being overbearing, I just want to make sure everybody can get to the same game without reading my ridiculous story files.
\**********OOC PART**********/

<^>

Dear pilot, you are the last hope of Earth...

For winning the Aerofighter Championship 2016! Should you somehow have forgotten the details, the Aerofighter Championship is an annual contest hosted by the Grand Galactic Gumption, who afterwards decides what planets should be destroyed as fuel for the others involved in the Championship. The contestants come from the planets that have the most resources to give up, ranked by the Gumption. They send their best pilots out to battle all others in the Drone Fields of Glabber. Generally the worst performers are those whose planets are chosen for total reduction and recycling, but the Great Galumphf of the Gargantuan Grand Guuge Gouncil has been known to make rash decisions. Since the only complaints come from the planets about to be incinerated, nobody cares to challenge her reign. Until now...

Almost one year ago, on the eve of the 1000th annual Aerofighting Championship, two new planets were found: our Earth, and the mechanical sphere Bzzarg, populated by the Mind Eater Robots of Blor (the capital of Bzzarg). Due to our clear skill in piloting (consider: 95% of our travel is accomplished in planes!) and the threats of war from Bzzarg if they were denied entry to the contest, each planet was immediately signed up. Due to a scheduling error, we only had to fly against the Skimmer Bugs from the dark side of Neptune; creatures who only adequately perform flying while above bodies of water, which there is none of in the Drone Fields of Glabber.

The Mind Eater Robots of Blor, on the other hand, battled every other planet in the competition and easily defeated all. After a political conversation (insider sources say dire threats of stealing every dingo from the planet) with the Great Galumphf, she decided that every planet the Mind Eater Robots won over in the contest should be hurled into a worm hole that exited into the ultra-galactic planetary-sized fishing net owned by the Bzzargians. Now the Mind Eater Robots of Blor control a majority of the universe, as they took up most of the newly-empty positions in the Grand Galactic Gumption! A couple representatives of Earth had managed to get on the board, but we have been unable to gain any real representation in the Gumption; conforming to a Democratic-Capitalist galactic order (and following the neccesary steps of dehumanization and constant competition) is difficult for us since we abandoned such foolish and harmful ideologies centuries ago.

The fate of our planet seemed grim from that day on, and it has gotten only grimmer, but it is now at the grimmest yet! As you should be informed, since your memory of the challenge was wiped to prevent you from leaking out secrets of your victory, two months ago the Council For Over-Controlling Computational Decision-Making Council of Bzzarg posited an extra requirement for Earth to be allowed entry in the Championship: their chosen pilot must be able to pass The Trials of the Flying Seven Hoops! Designed to be impossible for the comparatively slow (compared to a super computer) reflexes of any post-furry human, it seemed like we were doomed. Somehow though, through a likely grueling month of constant self-application and giving 110%, you surpassed the trials!

Now, with a month left before the 1001st Annual Aerofighting Championship, you are not only the highest ranking human pilot still alive today, but you must sign up for the Aerofighting Championship 2016! Should you decline, all positions will be taken by the Mind Eater Robot's pilots, the Plin'd Reader Dobbits, ensuring a certain win for them; and certain destruction for us! Eight of the nine entries for this year have already been claimed by them, as they know only one other planet remanining that could possibly enter: Earth. Even though they were entirely statistically confident no human could pass The Trials of the Flying Seven Hoops, it would have been against regulations for them to take the final spot unless absolutely no non-Bzzarg pilot joined the Championship. I will take it for granted that you will volunteer entering, for otherwise we shall all perish by the cruel fires of Bzzargean Mallet Master McHines the IVth!

To be fair on us, the restraints of the competition allow you to choose any of the nine provided planes- but you will not be able to spend time getting aquainted with your plane before the Championship begins. Understanding what makes your plane unique in controlling it is essential if you are to be able to defeat the Plin'd Reader Dobbits. Unfortunately, they will be able to anticipate your every move and try to replicate them exactly! This air-fight will only be possible to win due to the wide variety of prowess each plane has, because otherwise you would be surely swarmed by your seemingly clones.

I have sent you a short manual to describe to you how the planes provided for this competition operate, so you should have an easier time getting started. Good luck, brave flyer! Over 'n' Outside.

- Flight Commander Flacko